Let's Sing and Dance for Comic Relief Week Two Round Up

In a week that saw a Grimsby schoolboy, Julian Otu, emulate Alistair Brownlee to bring his friend home across the finish line, tonight’s performers also go above and beyond in the pursuit of being Jolly Good Sports.

The entertainment bit …

Our panel this week comprises previous contestant Russell Kane, the Queen herself, Claudia Winkleman and Citizen Khan, who brought along a full and unexpected buffet, to everyone’s delight apart from those in the audience who weren’t looking when Mel and Sue lobbed a few bhajia’s their way.

A Casualty and Holby combo come as Bruno Mars for a just-what-the-doctor-ordered cheery version of Uptown Funk. “You funked us so hard, auntie popped her hip back in” – Russell.

Boys Aloud (Gareth Gates, Duncan from Blue, Jon for SClub, Ben from Phats & Small and Ritchie from 5ive) channeled their inner Girls Aloud with Biology. Gareth is a beautiful Cheryl. Those cheekbones! That pout! “Lads run out of budget on an Amsterdam stag night” – Russell.

Danny Boy Hatchard is Elton John. No, I mean really. Take a bow, Costume and Make-Up. And Danny for the singing, dancing and slapstick. “Like a bee on a Berocca” – Russell.

James and Ola Jordan put all their years of training to good use … actually, no. As Meghan Trainor, Ola was a delight and gave All About The Bass a whole new energy. As Meghan Trainor, James left everyone in a state of bewildered shock. Who knew? Strictly’s former macho man has found his calling. Hilarious. “Broken several international treaties” – Sue. “I found it very disturbing” – Citizen Khan. “Weird and wonderful. Please don’t touch me” – Russell.

The Chasers, aka The Vixen, the Dark Destroyer, The Governess and The Beast tapped into our love of childhood memories with a Wizard of Oz medley. Syrup wasn’t optional, joining in was, but most did anyway.

They duly won the public vote, with Casualty & Holby taking the panel 2-1 over James & Ola.

The point of it all bit …

Billy Connolly emotionally reminded us of the UK projects, introducing us to three people affected by Alzheimer’s and dementia. Lonely Bob, whose wife no longer recognised him, Jo with early onset Alzheimer’s and Margaret, who lost the love of her life. Wherever you are in the UK, you’re likely within 20 miles of a Comic Relief project which helps people like them.

Malaria is still killing children needlessly. Emeli Sande meets potential young victims in Uganda, one of whom, 8 year old Agnes, needs a blood transfusion due to the disease inducing anaemia. But there are no blood supplies. Agnes does make it through, but in the time it takes to watch the film, another child will have died. Just £2.50 buys a mosquito net for children to sleep under. Maybe we could forego this week’s carrot cake, what d’you say?

To donate £5, text GIVE to 70205. To donate £10, text GIVE 70210. Visit www.bbc.co.uk/rednoseday for the T&Cs.

The proper musical bits …

Direct from the West End, Amanda Holden leads the cast of Steppin’ Out (at the Vaudeville Theatre till June) and Louisa Johnson sings Best Behaviour. She appears to be laying on a bed of flying saucers. The papery, supposedly sweet ones, not the UFO type ones.

The one-that-would’ve-won-it-so-they-didn’t-let-them-play bit …

Russell Kane, Shappi Khorsandi and Katherine Ryan Shake It Off in a shopping centre flash mob – all moving pretty well, actually, then get upstaged by their junior equivalents. For this week’s warm fuzzy feeling, here it is.

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