What I’m Most Thankful for as a Mom (The Not-So-PC Version)

I have more than my share of amazing things to be thankful for this year. I just gave birth to my third child--a healthy baby girl--10 days ago. I was off my cancer meds (I've had chronic leukemia for 12 years and had to stop treatment while pregnant) and the disease stayed in a deep remission the whole nine months. My older two kids have adjusted seamlessly, they're behaving like angels (I kind of don't recognize them) and we are basically in post-birth bliss over here. Trust me, I could definitely get sappy and sentimental this holiday. I am sappy and sentimental. But that's not what this post is about. This is about the other stuff that makes life as a parent worth living. Or at least easier to live. The treats and tricks and corner cutting that I've come to rely on as a mom. The stuff I secretly celebrate on a daily basis. When my family goes around the table on Thursday to share what we're thankful for, I won't be mentioning this list but it doesn't mean I'm not deeply appreciative for the following:

Alcohol. Yes, I put this one first. Nothing like going nine months without something to make you realize just how much you miss it. It's not that I need to drink (I don't) or drink that much (I don't), it's the idea of pouring myself a glass of wine at the end of a long--or short--day and the first sip of said wine that I cherish. It really never gets old. See also: a good craft beer, dirty martinis and champagne.

Nick Jr. I am not a big fan of letting my kids tube out and I think we do a pretty good job of limiting TV time. That said, a little Ninjago or Doc McStuffins (or, OK, a full-length feature film) is an amazing tool when needed and lately it's been needed.

Formula. I'm not breastfeeding (I have to go back on my cancer meds this week) and I am very happy about it. I nursed the baby as soon as she came out and a few times after that for the colostrum and I swear the second she latched, I started having flashbacks. I definitely have PTSD from my experience nursing my firstborn (pain, guilt, mastitis three times, MRSA, endless antibiotics, a breast surgeon--you can read all about it here). Needless to say, she is now drinking formula and we are all feeling good about it. Especially my boobs.

Spanx. After a week of having my kids ask me if I was having another baby, I started tucking my postpartum belly behind some heavy-duty lycra and man if I don't feel good about myself. The moms at the bus stop said I look completely back to normal. I am not. I also know that even once I've lost the weight I gained, I will still have a belly to contend with (stomach muscles are not really my strength, no pun intended), which is why I will be ordering some more of these fabulous products. Fake it till you make it, baby!

OnDemand/Hulu/Netflix/DVR: I may not approve of endless TV watching for my children, but for me it's just what the doctor ordered. One of the best parts of having a newborn is all the lying around and watching TV the two of you get to do, right? (Not really sure this happens with number three…still TBD). What I'm currently watching: Nashville, Scandal, The Good Wife, Top Chef, New Girl, The Mindy Project, Homeland (even though this season kind of sucks), Revenge. But I need more! Especially with the winter finales coming up. Suggestions?

My iPhone. I'm usually nostalgic for the simpler days when it comes to parenting and I definitely resist technology (I still use a Filofax and I only write in it in pencil). But I freaking love my smartphone and I can't imagine having three kids without one. The make-my-life-easier apps, the endless entertainment (for me and, in a pinch, for the kids), the camera, the Facebook viewing while doing middle-of-the-night feedings. This hilarious list that I read this morning while waiting for the doctor. How did I have my first two without one of these?

The magic powers of these three words: One, two, three. I have a six-year-old and an almost four-year-old and counting to three--or even threatening to do so--still works every time. How is this possible? See also: "Do you want me to get daddy?" (Not proud of that one but my kids have long-ago discovered that I'm good cop so in a pinch I'll whip it out.)

A bathroom door that locks. The second I go into my bathroom for any reason, my kids come looking for me. I've always had an open door policy because, well, they're little and I'm not very modest and I'd rather they be staring at me pee or chatting me up while I shower than getting into trouble elsewhere. Meanwhile, my husband takes a 30-minute shower every morning and no one ever bothers him. I recently started announcing my departure to the bathroom, telling the kids to give me privacy and locking the door (when I can) and it's kind of amazing. (Full disclosure: This morning I peed while holding the baby in my arms, but she's new around here so she gets a pass.)

Belle and Evans frozen chicken tenders and Annie's Organic macaroni and cheese. Served with roasted broccoli or asparagus, this is our go-to, quick-and-easy, no-time-or-energy-to-cook meal for the kids. It's not exactly healthy or homemade, which we usually aim for, but it ain't McDonalds and my kids devour it. So we always, always have it on hand. (PS, Belle and Evans chicken is raised without antibiotics and is actually real chicken--definitely a good brand to look for.)

Baby swings, bouncey seats, Moses baskets and any other place I can put my sleeping baby down. I know baby wearing is all the rage but it's just not for me. Don't get me wrong, I love to snuggle the baby but with two other kids and a house to run and blog posts to write, I gotta put my girl down. And I do. That said, we get plenty of quality bonding time (see "peeing with her in my arms," above).

Blackout curtains. We believe in sleep in our house. A lot of it. We do not believe in getting up before 7 a.m. See also: white noise, SwaddleMes, bedtime routine and "go the %$^@ back to sleep." Kidding about that last one, I swear.

The fact that I am no longer pregnant and never have to be again. We debated having a third for almost two years and it was exhausting. I was pregnant for 41 weeks instead of the 40 I'd signed up for--also exhausting. It should go without saying that I am thrilled with our decision and so lucky to have had an easy pregnancy and birth, but I am also grateful that it's over and I am done procreating. Done! Cue the sit-ups. And the vasectomy. But first, the turkey and stuffing and pumpkin pie!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Got any not-so sentimental things you're thankful for this year? Please share!