Is Working Part-Time the Key to Happiness?

By April Daniels Hussar,SELF magazine

Many of us think about scaling down our hours at the office when we become moms (heck, even if we aren't moms!). And a recent study finds that mothers who cut back a bit -- but don't quit altogether -- might be the happiest moms of all.

According to the study, published in the Journal of Family Psychology, moms who worked less than 33 hours per week were less depressed and had less work-family conflict than both stay-at-home moms and full-time moms. Interestingly, moms who worked either part- or full-time were less depressed than moms who didn't work at all.

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So is working -- but not to the point of burnout -- the key to happiness? Ann Pleshette Murphy, parenting educator and author of The 7 Stages of Motherhood: Loving Your Life Without Losing Your Mind, says she isn't surprised to hear that part-time working moms seem to be the happiest.

When she was researching her book, Murphy says full-time working moms would often tell her they wished they could cut back to part-time, while many of the stay-at-home moms expressed a desire to have something to do that would reconnect them with the other parts of themselves, especially if they had jobs that they really loved before they had kids.

"Even those moms who really define themselves as moms and feel that being a mom is just as rewarding as any job they could have -- even those moms, I would guess, crave a little adult time," says Murphy. "And there is certainly some satisfaction in earning some money, even if it's minimal." Moms who work full-time, on the other hand, often feel they have to "do it all," says Murphy, and therefore become highly pressured (though financially, and for the sake of your career, there's often no other choice).

So how can you feel happier and less stressed, regardless of how much you work? Here are Murphy's three tips:

1. Take the "slice of salami" approach. Murphy has a friend who seems to accomplish one goal after another. Her secret? One slice at a time. Dream of writing a book? Start by writing 15 minutes a day, if that's all you can do. Want to reorganize your laundry-room/disaster area? Break the job down into very small, bite-sized slices, and slowly plug away at them.

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2. Give yourself credit for ALL the little things you do.
"This is so important," says Murphy, who remembers fondly the time when her young son reminded her she had indeed accomplished a lot one day -- including "finding Lego Man's hair!"

"Sitting with your child while he takes a bath, or playing a game before work in the morning -- those aren't things you put on a to-do list, but they're essential, and they count."

3. Really DO take time for yourself.
Listen to that inner voice that tells you it's time to take some "me-time" to recharge your batteries. "If it's an absolutely gorgeous day and you've been at your desk, or folding laundry all day, get out! Go for a walk," she says. You deserve it. And you need it.

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