The Mom Move I Never Thought I’d Make

Yesterday morning I rolled into Dunkin' Donuts with my 4-year-old daughter who had just rolled out of bed — and looked like it. She was still in her nightgown, bare-legged, hair an unruly mess, giant red rain boots covering her sockless feet (we couldn't find her sneakers, naturally). To say she looked like a ragamuffin is putting it kindly. She doesn’t get bed head, she gets bed dreadlocks and they were in full effect because, well, hair brushing is way too strenuous an activity to attempt before 9 a.m. Fortunately, I was wearing actual clothes.

Still, I never would have thought I'd be the kind of mom who would leave the house with disheveled kids in tow. In my pre-kid days I probably would have judged any parent who stepped out like that. I mean, how hard can it be to get everyone dressed in the morning? (Um, turns out it can be very hard some days, am I right?) But there I was. And you know what? I didn’t care.

If she was my first kid, I would have been embarrassed to have her in public in pajamas. I would have made loud excuses so that everyone knew it was not a regular occurrence. Or never done it in the first place. But yesterday morning, with my daughter, I just laughed. And took her photo. I didn’t even panic when I saw how many people were standing in line witnessing our imperfections. One of the many amazing things that happens as you get more comfortable with the whole parenting thing (and as you have more kids) is this: You care way less about what people think of you. And you learn to pick your battles. Forcing my defiant daughter to get dressed at 8 a.m. just so she could look presentable for our three-minute coffee stop wasn’t a priority. I mean it was Dunkin' Donuts, not Starbucks! (I’m a DD devotee all the way, but Starbucks is, for sure, way more posh.)

I have a million excuses, of course. We had to drive my son to the bus stop, my four-month-old needed to eat at the exact time we were trying to walk out the door, I really wanted coffee. Plus, we were only going to my mom’s house and she stopped being horrified by the way I roll long ago. That said, I really don’t think I need an excuse, which is new for me. Since having my third kid, I’ve had a few “unproud” mom moments like this one, but really, I can’t blame it all on the baby. Some of it is just that I’ve gotten older and wiser (or is it older and tireder?) and I just don’t sweat the small stuff as much. Thank God. Because it totally isn’t worth it. Of course I don’t make a habit of taking my children out in their pajamas and I do teach them the importance of looking presentable most of the time. But I refuse to beat myself up over something as silly as this. Would you? Have you ever taken your kids in public looking like this? Do tell.