Pizza Hut Mocks Your Awful Selfie Stick in Its New Commercial

Pizza Hut doesn’t think very highly of your selfie stick, and the company is letting you know why in a new commercial.

Yes, the company that blessed humanity with such culinary masterpieces as the Stuffed Crust Pizza and the BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza is skewering another equally preposterous cultural phenomenon. And it is actually pretty amazing.

The commercial, which is incidentally for the company’s new and equally ridiculous 2-foot long Big Flavor Dipper Pizza, Pizza Hut skewers selfie sticks and selfies in general, calling out selfie takers for the incredible narcissism inherent in their photo’s subject choices.

The ad, which is shot in the style of a news documentary series, features an earnest narrator explaining how society has fallen down the rabbit hole of self-infatuation, moving from simple selfies, to selfie sticks.

But the real problem is the increasing size of these sticks, Pizza Hut says, which have reached such enormous lengths that they have become a safety hazards for innocent bystanders.

From knocking over lemonade stands, to crowding elevators, and smashing TVs, the selfie stick is destroying our collective lives.

But with proper education, Pizza Hut believes it can teach people about the dangers of selfie sticks, and hopefully get everyone back to taking selfies in their bathroom mirrors.

In the end, the ad is just a commercial for a 2-foot long pizza. But maybe Pizza Hut has a point! Selfie sticks have become such a problem that places ranging from museums to Disney World have banned them from the premises.

And as someone that has to trudge through masses of people waving selfie sticks around trying to take pictures of New York’s Times Square every morning, I can attest to the accuracy of Pizza Hut’s ad.

Put away your selfie sticks, Americans. Pizza Hut has commanded it so. Thank you, Pizza Hut.

Email Daniel at dhowley@yahoo-inc.com; follow him on Twitter at @DanielHowley or on Google+.