Grumpy Cat Is Out of Control, Now Has Official Drink, Will Soon Rule World

Grumpy Cat, the Internet's favorite forlorn feline, is expanding her domination of American culture with a new coffee drink called the "Grumppuccino." This comes just a week after Grumpy Cat held a book release party for its new book Grumpy Cat: A Grumpy Book.

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It's yet another a sign of inexplicable, ever-rising interest in the brand of Grumpy Cat, who ceased being just a dour, pouty-looking pet a while ago and has evolved into Internationally Recognized Grumpy Cat Enterprise™. 

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The cat's recognizable mug made a relatively smooth transition to visual media from the digital sphere that made her famous, with even a movie said to be on the way. But selling a consumable product could be problematic. For one, that coffee will presumably have to taste at least somewhat decent for it to be successful; it can't solely rely on the Grumpy Cat's winning personality. In addition, the Grumppuccino tagline of "It's Awfully Good" is quite forgettable. I can think of some better ones right now: "Espresso yourself" or "Got a latte problems?" come to mind.

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Either way, the new drink will come in three main flavors — coffee, mocha, and vanilla — and will roll out online soon and in stores shortly thereafter. And for its part, the Grumpy Cat brand is appealing most directly to its legion of supporters, as in this deal for its Twitter followers:

So with the Internet, book publishing, Hollywood and the caffeinated drink market locked in, what's next for the little grump? An entry into politics can't be that far away. In the wake of Weinergate, anything is possible. In five years, we could all be watching Grumpy Cat cartoons, listening to Grumpy Cat's new #1 radio hit, and reading her new self-help book.

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But seriously, folks, this has gone too far. In my piece last week on Grumpy Cat's book and growing reach, I called for a coalition of cat-haters to unite:

Cat-haters and grumps, it's time to fight back. Whether you have a case of the Mondays or just dislike felines, it's time we ask: When will the world unite against these menaces poisoning our Kindles and bookstores?

I repeat this charge in earnest. Grumpy Cat must be stopped before she takes over the world.